20 Hilarious New Years Resolutions You’ll Never Keep

There’s something equal parts earnest and hilarious about New Years Resolutions. Every year we have the same unrealistic ambitious resolutions that we laugh at later.

From giving up junk food after dark to committing to exercise every day, that’s just the nature of the New Year’s resolution game.

Read on as we explore a few of the funniest resolutions you’ll definitely never keep (and let’s be honest, get crushed by real life).

Want to be one of the first to see what we created? So, without further ado, let’s dive in!

Key Takeaways

  • Have fun, be creative, and bring a little mischief to your world with these 20 hilarious new year’s resolutions you’ll never keep. Maybe you should become a professional nap taker or fluent emoji speaker. These creative commitments encourage you to get a little more adventurous, exploring the world around you and finding happiness in unusual ways.
  • Make New Year’s resolutions a time to build community as you set goals. Tweet or post your unusual resolutions with the hashtag #weirdnewyears! Get all of your friends to participate, and let’s make this one of the most fun, ridiculous communities on the Internet!
  • Give yourself an amusing kitchen test by only eating foods that begin with the letter ‘Q’ for the new year. This resolution is all about getting you to try your hand at new cooking techniques. You’ll learn new cooking techniques, all while having a great time and building your culinary confidence!
  • Make a game out of all your leisure time pursuits by prepping for the Couch Potato Olympics. This is a great resource to liven up your free time. You’ll even build camaraderie with your friends as you all work toward couch potato greatness!
  • Turn your pet rock collection into the funniest thing ever and discover the happiness all around you. For a fun twist, try writing your thank yous to inanimate objects! These resolutions urge you to rediscover joy in the mundane and acknowledge the beauty in the simple, frequently unnoticed aspects of the world.
  • Keep in mind that resolutions can be funny and still be important. These funny resolutions illustrate just how important humor and creativity are. They can improve your quality of life and make achieving your New Year’s resolutions a fun, positive process rather than a hassle and source of anxiety.

1. Become a Professional Napper

Embracing the art of napping as a professional is a funny but very achievable aspiration. Tons of folks are planning on napping professionally, programming daily naps to help improve overall relaxation and productivity.

Creating a comfy napping space with plush pillows and warm blankets guarantees the ideal experience. Documenting your napping journey on social media might just encourage someone else to step up and join this movement.

Most surprisingly, 71% agree that napping increases productivity and well-being. Companies are even hiring sleep consultants, which shows professional napping’s promise.

Though funny, we take this resolution’s work as part of the continued, present-day pursuit of work-life balance and more comprehensive mental health offerings.

2. Master the Art of Procrastination

Procrastination Takes Planning

To procrastinate well, you need to find the ideal plan that allows you to put things off until the last minute. Write down each time you get distracted, such as when you choose to binge-watch shows on Netflix or scroll through TikTok.

Excuses turn into an art form, such as saying you were tied up with fictional obligations. Make your procrastination victories a party with pals, procrastination into a social event.

New Year’s resolution

I look back on a year of half-read novels and missed days of movement wondering “how did a year already pass? I didn’t fret; professionally, experience is what pays my bills.

Nothing wrong with making life cheaper, that seems like a no-brainer, but who’s in a hurry?

3. Eat Only Foods That Start with ‘Q’

When you get past that, eat only foods that start with ‘Q’ provides a wacky challenge to your food journey. You might even create an all ‘Q’ foods list, introducing an exciting test.

Trying new things like quinoa, quesadillas, and quiche makes for a fun kitchen expedition. Sharing your experience through photography and blogging adds another cool factor to it.

Hosting a themed dinner party with ‘Q’ dishes for friends brings in a fun social factor.

4. Train for the Couch Potato Olympics

In turn, training for the Couch Potato Olympics provides a wonderfully humorous reversal on the classic workout regimen. Develop a training program that allows for couch potato pastimes such as binge-watching. With this method, you should never skip a workout, and each day becomes an exciting Olympic training opportunity!

Develop a medal system for different milestones, including an extra ambitious fun goal or two. Get your friends on board, creating competition and camaraderie as you all dive into the glorious weirdness of this new training.

Post your progress to social media, encouraging other couch potato Olympians to join you in this relaxing endeavor. By taking this approach you swap excuses for enjoyment and make every minute matter.

5. Speak Fluent Emoji

Speaking fluent emoji makes communications more fun and lighthearted. For one week, try to have conversations only using emojis. It’s sort of like learning a new language but with fun little emojis and emoticons.

Developing an emoji dictionary would help with translations, making conversations more hilarious. Invite your friends to only text back in emoji, making each exchange a fun brain-teaser!

Applying emojis to real-world scenarios is where it gets fun. Live action emojis A simple smiley face goes a long way – sometimes further than words ever could!

6. Write a Novel in One Day

Writing a novel in one day may sound ambitious, but setting a timer and committing to 24 hours of creativity can be thrilling. Bring plenty of snacks and beverages to maintain energy levels during the writing marathon.

By sharing progress on social media you introduce a new level of motivation, creating a cycle of inspiration. Have fun with a playful title and cover art, remembering that it’s all about having fun, not getting it right.

Everyone thinks collaborations require more than 90% energy from each partner. So go ahead, push yourself to the limit!

Reconnect with the enthusiasm of the process, be it getting up at the crack of dawn or burning the midnight oil.

7. Break a World Record for Sleeping

Trying to break a world record for sleeping gives a funny spin to the typical New Year’s resolutions. So figuring out what record already exists, such as longest sleep marathon or most hours slept in a week.

While setting up a sleep schedule helps guarantee the most sleep possible, tracking your habits and sharing them with others adds a competitive social element.

Continue the fun by throwing a sleep-themed party to celebrate all the wonderful accomplishments with pillow forts and hammocks galore!

The resolution has fun with the notion of perfecting the art of napping and valuing the pleasures of one’s bed more than being industrious.

8. Start a Pet Rock Collection

  1. Start a pet rock collection. Another interesting take on an old hobby. Gather your rocks from a variety of locations – your yard, local parks, or your favorite hiking trails.
  2. Develop an awesome pet rock collection that shows off your awesome personality! Personalize each rock with names and wild backstories, making them into characters that come to life!
  3. Post pictures of your new collection on social media to make everyone smile! Get your buddies involved and challenge them to come up with their own works.
  4. Hold a creative pet rock adoption event! Encourage all your friends to get in on this fun new fad and spread the happiness of having a pet rock!

9. Only Wear Socks That Don’t Match

Aside from providing an element of surprise, wear only mismatched socks as a passionate act of fashion defiance. Begin by committing one sock drawer exclusively to colorful, crazy pairs, making sure you’ll always have a wide array of possibilities.

Post pictures of your mismatched ensembles on social media. May every day be a fun demonstration of your original personality! Get your friends to participate in this mismatched sock movement, and you’ll bring fun and creativity.

Your eclectic style is a reflection of your whimsical nature. It lights up every room you walk into, making each step a new point of discussion.

10. Host Weekly Dance Parties for One

Weekly Dance Parties for One is an unbeatable pick-me-up. Just planning a weekly dance party for one can turn an otherwise frustrating day into a fun-filled dance break.

Awesome twist alert! By making each party a themed playlist, you ensure that no two parties are ever the same! Imagine ‘80s rock one week and ‘90s grunge the next.

Filming your killer dance moves brings a whole new level of comedy as you post them online, challenging your friends to join in the fun. This lightheartedness encourages people to throw their own solo dance parties, creating a network of participants and dancing connections worldwide.

11. Learn to Juggle with Watermelons

To get started, first pick up some watermelons at your local farmers market. Begin with one or two and get your hands used to what juggling watermelon feels like, get the weight and heft in your hands and arms.

Gradually, set a goal: three melons in the air at once. Film these stunts to share the resulting giggle fits and stumbling watermelon fails with the world.

Keep the adventure going by having them come over for a juggling extravaganza, making it a great, memorable and hilarious entertainment party.

12. Become a Social Media Influencer for Cats

Plus, creating a dedicated social media account for your cat is an enjoyable project. Posting fun, shareable content consistently is the most important thing, be it an adorable picture of your pet cat or an amusing clip of your cute kittens.

Partnering with other pet influencers provides an excellent opportunity to cross-promote and extend your reach. Imagine being able to plan a cute product launch with the internet’s favorite feline!

Hitting up regional pet events will increase your exposure, further establishing your influencer reputation. Just imagine your kitty whisker to whisker with the pet world elite.

13. Attempt to Live Without Wi-Fi

Going cold turkey on Wi-Fi, designate a weekend as your tech-free zone. Whether it’s immersing yourself in an exciting story, creating a beautiful art piece, or getting out on the amazing trails nearby, enjoy the outdoors!

Definitely keep a journal close at hand to write down all the little surprises, pleasures and challenges of life without Wi-Fi. Share stories such as how you relearned the peaceful pleasure of a board game or the joy of an impromptu picnic.

Once you’re reconnected, post about your adventure on social media to inspire your friends to take a digital detox. You may just motivate someone else to seek balance beyond the screens.

14. Perfect the ‘I’m Busy’ Face

Getting a good ‘I’m busy’ face down can save you a lot of trouble in uncomfortable situations. Perfecting those subtle depictions that shriek “I’m busy” wards off annoying intrusions.

Imagine a little bit of a scowl and an intensely concentrated look—perfect for avoiding the talkative colleagues. Forward these tips to friends and family for a good chuckle.

Intensity and nonchalance For me it’s all about that perfect balance. Why not turn it into a group bonding experience?

Challenge your colleagues to make their own ‘I’m busy’ faces and find out who can perfect the blank stare.

15. Create a New Language Using Only GIFs

Developing your own language with just GIFs lets you be artistic and add a fun twist to regular conversations.

Begin by choosing a collection of GIFs to stand in for basic ideas or feelings. Imagine a thumbs up for “great job” or a laughing cat for “funny.

Introduce your friends to this new language and get them onboard. Turn multi-threaded discussions into a GIF, delivering infinite amusement and intrigue.

For even more fun, hold a GIF language competition, judging which participants do the best job of conveying their messages through GIFs.

16. Try to Laugh at Every Joke

When you just make an effort to laugh at every joke, whether it’s smart or stupid, it’s a joyful surprise. When you post about your laughter journey on social media, you use social media as a stage of fun!

Dare your colleagues to unearth their corniest puns! Make it a side-splitting wager with buddies to see who breaks first. Collecting these occurrences into a best of collection makes for a dump truck of laughter to come back to.

Now laughter is the preferred escort, making joy the process, not the product.

17. Become an Expert in Useless Trivia

Diving headfirst into the world of useless trivia proves to be a lifelong source of fun. Gathering nuggets such as the knowledge that a flock of flamingos is known as a “flamboyance” never fails to amuse.

Just imagine how much fun you’ll have sharing these gems with your friends around the campfire. Hosting a trivia night based on outrageous facts will truly take your party to the next level.

Like, for instance, did you know that the dude who invented the frisbee was turned into a frisbee when he died? Not only do these quirky finds bring a smile to your feed, but they create a delightful dialogue with you and your followers.

18. Only Drink Beverages with Straws

In addition, deciding to only drink beverages with straws might just become a really fun challenge. Stocking up on a rainbow of straws is a fun project.

Get started experimenting with different materials, whether it’s paper, metal or silicone. Each type pairs well with a variety of drinks, from smoothies to iced coffees.

Finding the right pairing can be a fun challenge, discovering the ideal companion to your go-to drink. Posting pics of your eye-catching new straw crew online brings the fun and pop of color to your social media.

New Year’s resolution

Get your friends involved with the straw-drinking challenge for an extra dose of fun and imagination.

19. Write Thank You Notes to Inanimate Objects

Seeing the world through a comedic lens is key. Writing thank you notes to inanimate objects, like this tree, is a delightfully fun way to spark joy!

Start simply by thinking of things that improve life—like the dependable coffee maker that gets you out the door each morning or the always-useful doorstop. Thank your couch for producing infinite cozy vibes.

Say THANK YOU to your pen for writing some wonderful words. Posting these notes to social media adds an element of surprise, turning the whole experience into a creative and humorous competition.

Share with your friends and get them to participate too! Before you know it, you’ll have started an enjoyable new custom that’s sure to provide plenty of laughs.

20. Speak in Movie Quotes for a Month

Speaking in Movie Quotes for a Month provides a fun challenge to how we converse. Set yourself an even harder challenge, though, and try to speak in movie quotes for a month.

Start by compiling a list of favorite quotes, from “I’ll be back” to “Here’s looking at you, kid,” ensuring quick access. Recounting these incidents to friends makes even mundane conversations a nonstop laugh fest.

Take these behind-the-scenes moments and post them to social media, providing a glimpse into the fun and maybe encouraging other people to get involved.

This hilarious challenge doesn’t just inject a ton of funny into everyday life, it makes you a more well-rounded movie lover.

Conclusion of Hilarious New Years Resolutions

The beginning of any new year is never complete without the promise of a fresh slate and the accompanying bountiful hilarity. We hope you enjoyed the ride down this humorous resolutions lane, each one a friendly nudge to remind us that we’re all a bit weird. Go on a magical adventure of odd socks or learn how to communicate in emoji! The true win is in the exhilaration of being open to new possibilities.

So get your pet rock in line, invite yourself to the dance party of one, and get ready for some serious dumb fun. These funny resolutions are a wonderful way to start 2025 because we all know that laughter is the best medicine! Here’s wishing you and yours a healthy new year, full of laughter and good cheer. Let’s make this year much funnier, one chuckle at a time! Share your wild resolutions below, and share the hilarity on social media!

Frequently Asked Questions

Are these resolutions meant to be taken seriously?

Wait, are these funny New Year resolutions serious? We hope they give you a chuckle and help relieve some of that New Year’s stress. We hope you get a kick out of the humor and spread the happiness to friends and family.

What’s the benefit of making funny resolutions?

These hobbies eliminate stress and promote ingenuity, making them perfect for your New Year resolutions. You’ll kick off your New Year with a dose of humor, which increases happiness, improves mood, and brightens the atmosphere around you, while also helping you meet like-minded people.

How do I become a Professional Napper?

Let yourself re-charge and unwind this January! Schedule 30 minutes of downtime every day to embrace a healthy new year, making your nap space as comfortable as possible for guilt-free leisure.

Is it possible to speak fluent Emoji?

Though emoji are not a true language, the ability to use emoji makes communicating more playful, especially as we embrace the new year. Get some practice in by texting your friends and interpreting humorous new year goals.

Can these resolutions improve my creativity?

Heck, yes! Surprise lemons like these always lead to some innovation, especially as we embrace the beginning of the new year. They inspire unconventional ideas and humorous new year goals, offering fresh ways of looking at the world. Have a look through these new lenses.

How do I host a dance party for one?

Pick your jams, move some furniture, and shake it like the world is ending to embrace a healthy new year. Plus, it’s one of the best forms of exercise and mood enhancers around, great for self-expression and a natural stress reliever.

Why try to live without Wi-Fi?

It’s an amusing trial aimed to foster love for the online era, especially as we approach the new year. Even if you don’t succeed, just trying can help you embrace a positive outlook on your screen time while encouraging real-life connections.


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